Very lovely start! I like the Chemistry between Cordelia and Tobias, and we definitely get a "long friend" vibe from them. I'm even already slightly pining for a friends to lovers story arc from them. (But I'm a romance girlie, I am capable of shipping any two things that move in a book so don't mind me) Nora sound a capital B-itch!
This put a smile on my face. I love that you ship them... but wait for chapter two. I think your candidate for who you ship Cordelia with will change, heehee.
Don't even get me started on Nora. As the author, I of course still understand her and have some sympathy, but girl... Tobias? Your loss.
Thank you so much for taking time to read this Artiranth!
“Respectfully, of course.” This line in your book or any book is my favorite. I'm three little words it sets the foundation of the mmc
Did you do that deliberately or was it just a passing thought?
I just find that a man rather he be a cinnamon roll or an alpha hole gets a certain amount of respect from me as a reader when he uses this phrase to show that he can look and appreciate without being skeevy.
Yes! I feel like it was a very deliberate thing that he thought— he has the ability to admit that Cordelia is a very beautiful girl while still having respect for her and understanding their friendship.
This is richly imaginative writing and makes me look forward to seeing how the characters will develop! I'm fascinated to know what your literary influences are Chloe and how you came upon the idea of Kalistar.
Thank you so much Sean! I'm glad to hear it. As for literary influences, Tahereh Mafi is a big one for me. I've met her in person and really value her work. Her prose is emotional and raw like no other. Her audience is mostly geared towards young girls like myself, but her work is undeniably impressive.
Honestly, and this is kind of embarrassing to admit, the idea for The Heirs of Kalistar started about three years ago and stemmed from a crush that I had. He inspired an idea for a character (spoiler alert-- it's Cadmus.) Over time the story evolved around that. I think for most of my life I've been searching for a story that involved monarchies and castles in the real world. Haven't been able to find it. Magic and supernatural powers seem to always be involved in settings like The Heirs of Kalistar. Here, it's all reality that we're used to, just elevated a bit for pizzazz!
Thanks for the info Chloe, I think it’s great that you can reflect your life in your art. I do this with songs as well, the music becomes a journal of my life and it’s amazing how listening to something i’ve done takes me back to a moment. Being creative can be a slog sometimes, but there are moments of illumination that make it all worthwhile. Me and my daughters are following similar creative paths, and it has been very rewarding.
This is an engaging storyline and I want to know what happens next. The two main characters are well-developed for a first chapter but I’m curious to know who the other characters, especially Cadmus and Beaux are. Will they play central roles in their own chapters? The story is complex enough that several characters could have storylines developed in tandem. But it’s a fun read. The personalities, even though rich and famous, sound like realistic, normal people. And I like the feel of a fantasy land but in contemporary context with. Are and similar teenage concerns.
Thank you so much for reading it Jimmy! It means a lot. I’m so glad that you like the characters. They are very close to me, and we’ve spent a lot of time together. (I think this is why they seem so developed)
Cadmus and Beaux will definitely get some spotlight in the next chapter, and they do have their own chapters later in the story.
I’m just getting started here— the next part will be out Wednesday and I’d love for you to read it. In the meantime, I’ll be on the lookout for any posts from you.
I’ll def keep an eye out. I’ve posted quite a few stories. My two favorites posted are: 1. Bad Throw, Good Catch, and 2. Dodger Shows the Way. I’ll link both
Well Darling, you are here and you definitely came to play! There is so much in this chapter and the writing is like something familiar. The descriptions are lush and the settings open in your mind's eye cinematically. Cordelia gives off a bit of old world sophistication and reminds me of the starlets of the 1940s. Tobias' voice is fresh and introspective and definitely pulls you right in. You were right about him having the presence to hold the room. I look forwards to reading more and by the way - you and I share a thing for Red heads - I have a character named Marlowe that could be her sister!
Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me and I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’ve never had someone compare Cordelia to the starlets of the 1940s but now that you say it— it totally makes sense. I would love to be introduced to Marlowe! If you link where I should start reading her story, I’ll give it a look.♥️
I will post a note with a picture of her and her brother Gideon, my story hasn’t progressed to them yet - I just started posting it here on substack - as people say - “I was late to the party.” But now that I’m here I’m doing my best to have a good time!
Ohhh! I lovee this! it was my first fiction on this app too. Your story telling is just amazing. Kinda got lost in the middle but I am sure you will do well more than this on the up coming chapters, I can't wait. I am curious about Cadmus, already a fan.
Thank you so much Sumi! It’s an honor to be your first fiction read on Substack! I know this chapter was a bit long, but the next one is shorter. Cadmus will definitely be more involved! Looking out for posts from you!♥️
Wow, this first chapters has made me eager to read your story ! I came across your post by chance, and I'm so happy I did, I feel like I've embarked in such a beautifully journey ! A few comments were already great at pinpointing how your hooking us perfectly, by introducing us to some parts of the sorry without saying/giving too much. And the characters seem to have depth (Deli marry me 💍), I love how philosophical Tobias is, and I'm looking forward to meeting everyone and grasping the universe of the book.
One observation I could make is concerning the transition between Tobias' thoughts and when we go back to the main action and vice versa. To me, I felt a bit lost because it seemed a bit quick sometimes. But other than that I loved it 👏🏻
Thank you so much Olympe! I loved to hear this, and I’m stoked that you took time to read it! Thank you for your advice… I’ve heard from others that the transitions from his thoughts to actions and vice versa were a bit jarring.
Still working on that— but I think I’m getting better.
And about Deli— I swear she’s just too gorgeous sometimes— both inside and out.
I appreciate your feedback so much! Taking the time to tell me these things really means the world. I’ll be on the lookout for your work!
I'm glad my feedback could help you a bit, and I'm genuine when I'm telling you how well-built your first chapter is, it's so exciting to know it's only the beginning ! Regarding the transitions, I hope it wasn't mean, but I just wanted to emphasize it as it was the only thing bothering me - even tho not too much - since you said you wanted an honest review. But I'm sure you'll get better, it's only the beginning !
And I'll keep on being a stan for Deli, I'm sure there's so much depth and relatablility in her character :).
And if one day Inpost something and you happen to read it I'll be more than grateful 🤗.
Characters have depth, kinda loss in between but it's getting better once you read with it also this is my first substack novel, thanks subscribed! Looking forward to next chapters
Wow, what an incredible start! You pulled me in right away—I’m already hooked and can’t wait to read more. ICheering you on!💝
Thank you so much for reading Shanna! Chapter Two is out now. I can't wait to hear what you think! I'll be on the lookout for your posts
thank you! I'll take a look💖
amazing after turning it into audio,
Omg you turned this into audio? That’s so cool Abi!
YEAH I HAVE A READ RO ME SETTING AND JUST LISTEN
I like this!
Very lovely start! I like the Chemistry between Cordelia and Tobias, and we definitely get a "long friend" vibe from them. I'm even already slightly pining for a friends to lovers story arc from them. (But I'm a romance girlie, I am capable of shipping any two things that move in a book so don't mind me) Nora sound a capital B-itch!
Great start and looking forward to more <3
This put a smile on my face. I love that you ship them... but wait for chapter two. I think your candidate for who you ship Cordelia with will change, heehee.
Don't even get me started on Nora. As the author, I of course still understand her and have some sympathy, but girl... Tobias? Your loss.
Thank you so much for taking time to read this Artiranth!
“Respectfully, of course.” This line in your book or any book is my favorite. I'm three little words it sets the foundation of the mmc
Did you do that deliberately or was it just a passing thought?
I just find that a man rather he be a cinnamon roll or an alpha hole gets a certain amount of respect from me as a reader when he uses this phrase to show that he can look and appreciate without being skeevy.
Yes! I feel like it was a very deliberate thing that he thought— he has the ability to admit that Cordelia is a very beautiful girl while still having respect for her and understanding their friendship.
This is richly imaginative writing and makes me look forward to seeing how the characters will develop! I'm fascinated to know what your literary influences are Chloe and how you came upon the idea of Kalistar.
Thank you so much Sean! I'm glad to hear it. As for literary influences, Tahereh Mafi is a big one for me. I've met her in person and really value her work. Her prose is emotional and raw like no other. Her audience is mostly geared towards young girls like myself, but her work is undeniably impressive.
Honestly, and this is kind of embarrassing to admit, the idea for The Heirs of Kalistar started about three years ago and stemmed from a crush that I had. He inspired an idea for a character (spoiler alert-- it's Cadmus.) Over time the story evolved around that. I think for most of my life I've been searching for a story that involved monarchies and castles in the real world. Haven't been able to find it. Magic and supernatural powers seem to always be involved in settings like The Heirs of Kalistar. Here, it's all reality that we're used to, just elevated a bit for pizzazz!
Thanks for the info Chloe, I think it’s great that you can reflect your life in your art. I do this with songs as well, the music becomes a journal of my life and it’s amazing how listening to something i’ve done takes me back to a moment. Being creative can be a slog sometimes, but there are moments of illumination that make it all worthwhile. Me and my daughters are following similar creative paths, and it has been very rewarding.
This opening is cinematic—like I’m already seeing it unfold on screen. Can’t wait to follow the rest of the journey!
Oh my goodness don’t do my ego like that!😂
But in all seriousness, I’m glad you think it’s good enough to be on screen.
Maybe one day🤞🏼Next part is out on Wednesday. I’ll be on the lookout for your work!
This is an engaging storyline and I want to know what happens next. The two main characters are well-developed for a first chapter but I’m curious to know who the other characters, especially Cadmus and Beaux are. Will they play central roles in their own chapters? The story is complex enough that several characters could have storylines developed in tandem. But it’s a fun read. The personalities, even though rich and famous, sound like realistic, normal people. And I like the feel of a fantasy land but in contemporary context with. Are and similar teenage concerns.
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for reading it Jimmy! It means a lot. I’m so glad that you like the characters. They are very close to me, and we’ve spent a lot of time together. (I think this is why they seem so developed)
Cadmus and Beaux will definitely get some spotlight in the next chapter, and they do have their own chapters later in the story.
I’m just getting started here— the next part will be out Wednesday and I’d love for you to read it. In the meantime, I’ll be on the lookout for any posts from you.
Thank you again!
I’ll def keep an eye out. I’ve posted quite a few stories. My two favorites posted are: 1. Bad Throw, Good Catch, and 2. Dodger Shows the Way. I’ll link both
Thank you! I’ll read them when I can!
Thanks. I sent both as a message link.
There is a lot going on here. It immediately reminds me of Zelazny’s Amber series, loaded with sibling rivalry and familial drama.
And I can’t help but think that there is a secret hidden in plain sight. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this Mark! I know it’s a bit long, but the next chapter is shorter and it comes out Wednesday.
Let’s just say… a secret is most definitely in the room. Someone just has to share it.
https://open.substack.com/pub/exfedex84/p/ghost-ship?r=1ramgg&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=post-publish
You inspired me to post some stories. Here is the first! I hope you enjoy it.
Well Darling, you are here and you definitely came to play! There is so much in this chapter and the writing is like something familiar. The descriptions are lush and the settings open in your mind's eye cinematically. Cordelia gives off a bit of old world sophistication and reminds me of the starlets of the 1940s. Tobias' voice is fresh and introspective and definitely pulls you right in. You were right about him having the presence to hold the room. I look forwards to reading more and by the way - you and I share a thing for Red heads - I have a character named Marlowe that could be her sister!
Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me and I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’ve never had someone compare Cordelia to the starlets of the 1940s but now that you say it— it totally makes sense. I would love to be introduced to Marlowe! If you link where I should start reading her story, I’ll give it a look.♥️
I will post a note with a picture of her and her brother Gideon, my story hasn’t progressed to them yet - I just started posting it here on substack - as people say - “I was late to the party.” But now that I’m here I’m doing my best to have a good time!
Really well done, gripping stuff!
Thank you so much!
Ohhh! I lovee this! it was my first fiction on this app too. Your story telling is just amazing. Kinda got lost in the middle but I am sure you will do well more than this on the up coming chapters, I can't wait. I am curious about Cadmus, already a fan.
Thank you so much Sumi! It’s an honor to be your first fiction read on Substack! I know this chapter was a bit long, but the next one is shorter. Cadmus will definitely be more involved! Looking out for posts from you!♥️
👏🏻
Tysm Niki!♥️
Wow, this first chapters has made me eager to read your story ! I came across your post by chance, and I'm so happy I did, I feel like I've embarked in such a beautifully journey ! A few comments were already great at pinpointing how your hooking us perfectly, by introducing us to some parts of the sorry without saying/giving too much. And the characters seem to have depth (Deli marry me 💍), I love how philosophical Tobias is, and I'm looking forward to meeting everyone and grasping the universe of the book.
One observation I could make is concerning the transition between Tobias' thoughts and when we go back to the main action and vice versa. To me, I felt a bit lost because it seemed a bit quick sometimes. But other than that I loved it 👏🏻
Thank you so much Olympe! I loved to hear this, and I’m stoked that you took time to read it! Thank you for your advice… I’ve heard from others that the transitions from his thoughts to actions and vice versa were a bit jarring.
Still working on that— but I think I’m getting better.
And about Deli— I swear she’s just too gorgeous sometimes— both inside and out.
I appreciate your feedback so much! Taking the time to tell me these things really means the world. I’ll be on the lookout for your work!
I'm glad my feedback could help you a bit, and I'm genuine when I'm telling you how well-built your first chapter is, it's so exciting to know it's only the beginning ! Regarding the transitions, I hope it wasn't mean, but I just wanted to emphasize it as it was the only thing bothering me - even tho not too much - since you said you wanted an honest review. But I'm sure you'll get better, it's only the beginning !
And I'll keep on being a stan for Deli, I'm sure there's so much depth and relatablility in her character :).
And if one day Inpost something and you happen to read it I'll be more than grateful 🤗.
Ofc Olympe. I’ll be looking out for your posts. Totally not mean btw— I want your full and honest thoughts always!
congrats!! this was my first time reading fiction on substack and i loved it!!
Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it♥️
Woah congrats
Thank you! Lmk what you think!
Characters have depth, kinda loss in between but it's getting better once you read with it also this is my first substack novel, thanks subscribed! Looking forward to next chapters